He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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