hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
