Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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