Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
