She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
