This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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