Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
