i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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