We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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