After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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