She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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