I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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