Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
