No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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