we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
