how can u be prego again
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
