My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
