I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
