You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Actions speak louder than pants.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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