if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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