So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
