on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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