You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
