bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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