someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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