my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
