i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
