So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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