Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize