In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
