i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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