Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
