You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
