Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
