Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
