She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
