He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
