the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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