This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
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Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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