mondays should just be called national damage control day
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
