Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
