Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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