If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
