Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
