Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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