Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
