Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
