That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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