And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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