i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.