Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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