I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
