They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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