I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls