Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
