Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I lost the right to judge tonight
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
