I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
