Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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