Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
