Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
