Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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